Separating baby blues from postpartum depression: What we should know

Motherhood is often portrayed as the most beautiful and happiest moment of a woman's life, but we rarely talk about the intense sadness, anxiety, irritability, and emotional distress that comes with childbirth. Society always dismisses mothers whenever they talk about postpartum depression.

In a recent interview with psychotherapist Abdul Hamid of the Monobikash Foundation, he explained postpartum depression and how serious the issue can be for mothers.  

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According to Abdul Hamid, postpartum depression is a serious mental-health condition that can develop after childbirth, and recognising it early can make a significant difference in the new mother’s life.

People sometimes mix postpartum depression with “baby blues", which is common after childbirth and usually improves within one to two weeks, while postpartum depression is more intense and persistent.

If we look at the symptoms, surprisingly, these two can look similar at first. A new mother becomes more emotional, irritable, anxious or overwhelmed. She may feel more sensitive than usual and struggle with sleep or appetite. But the difference often lies in how long the symptoms continue.

Hamid said, "If the symptoms continue beyond 14 days and become more severe, then we recognise that as postpartum depression.”

The symptoms are not always dramatic. Sometimes they hide in ordinary-looking moments: a new mother snapping at the people around her, losing interest or appetite, becoming easily agitated, struggling to concentrate or feeling restless even when she finally gets the chance to sleep.

According to Hamid, these can be signs that a mother needs attention.

People usually think postpartum depression happens solely because of the hormonal changes. Hormonal shifts following childbirth are certainly part of the picture, but that’s not the whole story.

Pregnancy and motherhood bring immense psychological and social changes as well. “A woman who already has a history of depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety or obsessive-compulsive disorder faces postpartum depression compared to others,” said Hamid.

He further added that relationship problems, a difficult pregnancy or big expectations from the people around her create enormous pressure, which eventually contributes to postpartum depression.

The expectation on mothers is something Abdul Hamid finds particularly interesting.

“We prepare women for labour, baby names, clothes, feeding and nursery arrangements, but do we ever stop and think: how often do we prepare them for the possibility that they might not feel perfect like movies immediately, like every mother imagined?” he said.

The pressure becomes even more complicated with a second or a third child. People around us often assume that when a mother goes through a second or third pregnancy, she has all the answers and knows how to handle a newborn, so the support she received with her first child decreases in the second and third ones. But we forget the fact that now she has to look after two children.

Moreover, the older child may struggle to accept the new baby, while the mother is simultaneously dealing with physical recovery, a newborn’s needs and changes in her relationship with her partner. She may barely have time for herself, let alone her relationship, and that’s when all these things affect her mental health continuously.

Then comes another painful part of motherhood: Guilt!

The pressure societies create on a mother is that she should automatically be happy, loving and capable of handling everything. Women who experience depression may think, “Why am I not happy when I have a baby? Why am I struggling when other mothers seem to manage everything?”

This can bring the feeling of guilt and inadequacy. She may believe that she is failing as a mother when, in reality, she is experiencing postpartum depression and needs understanding and treatment.

Hamid mentioned that in this situation, partners and family members should first understand that postpartum depression is not something women can simply snap out of. Instead of saying things like, “Everyone goes through this,” or “You have a healthy baby, so you should be happy too,” they should listen without ignoring her feelings.

Partners and families can make a real difference by listening without judgement and offering practical help.

Everyone always talks about how they help the mother raise the newborn, but that help is not practical at all. Preparing meals, helping with household chores, and taking care of the baby so that the mother can properly rest without any interruption — this simple but practical assistance and positive affirmations can be a big help to the mother.

But if a mother realises she is going through postpartum depression, then she should immediately look for professional help because postpartum depression can be treated. Depending on the severity, treatment may involve psychotherapy, medication or a combination of both.

But the mother should not wait until they completely break down before asking for help because the more delay she makes, the more powerful the medication will be.

We should create more awareness about postpartum depression and ask for professional help more often because it is a serious issue, and acknowledging these feelings does not take away the joy of becoming a mother.

Mothers should understand there is no reward for suffering.